Single and Confident

          It makes me really sad to hear people say that they are depressed to be single. As if it means there is something wrong with them just because they aren’t in a relationship. As I said in my intro, our society has managed to paint the image that the path of life is to end up married with a family. As I do respect traditions, times have changed. Women are becoming more independent; guys are becoming bigger douche bags; and marriage is apparently a complete scam, considering it somehow doesn’t apply to everyone in the country.  When our parents were younger, marriage seemed to be something that happened quite young, and then it sort of moved to a higher age, but today I have found people tying the knot at what should be the beginning of their youth. It really is sad to me. It almost seems as if marriage has become a fad. If not for that, then it usually relates to these girls thinking “times up” and he seems like he’s the right one at this time. (Yeah yeah, I’m sure some of you will say “omg no way, he was the one!” oh was he? I didn’t know you dated everyone in the world, that’s fascinating, congratulations).

                I know too many girls today who seem to live their lives on a timeline. That’s right, a timeline. “Well I want to be a young mom, so I want to have kids when I’m 29, which means married around 27, but I want to have known my husband for at least 3 years before we get married, so that means I need to start looking now.” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY? People are so scared of being “alone” in their 30’s that they settle for what seems “right” in their life at that moment. The question I want answered is: what does alone mean to you people?

                Unfortunately for many women, and some men, they think being alone means they somehow didn’t amount to be good enough for someone. Personally, I take pride in being “alone.” Just try this for me: look at it from a different angle. Instead of thinking you’re alone because no one wants you; try thinking you’re on your own because no one has yet to deserve you. I know I have a lot to offer someone. And when I meet someone who I feel has proven that they can match me and deserve me; my heart is theirs. People need to stop feeling so sorry for themselves. Flip the glass over, look at things with a positive attitude. The ball is always in your court if you take the control. You are the only person who can have power over your feelings. You like a guy who isn’t giving you attention, don’t sit around and have a pity party. Tell yourself that he was a shmuck anyway and realize that there are millions of people in this world.

                Girls today give guys too much control. No one approached you at the bar, so you hit the gym; he didn’t call, you think there is something wrong with you. (Think about that, he didn’t do something so that’s turned around into there being something wrong with you? No, not gonna fly. That’s all him.) Not to mention, if he didn’t call, he’s probably not interested, or here’s a crazy thought for you, he’s actually busy….weird! So stop embarrassing yourself and just keep moving. Not everything we do should be directed towards attracting someone. A huge problem with all of this is simply that people aren’t confident enough on their own. I’ve seen way too many strugglers with self esteem issues and it’s really sad. The majority of people today are spending most of their time comparing themselves with other people.

                Go to the gym because it’s healthy and will make you feel better, not so people will date you. Get extra pretty for dinner because you know you’re beautiful, not because you need other people to see it. Work extra hard to get to the top in your career. Why? Because you deserve it and you’re the only person who can get you there. How are we supposed to expect people to want us if we wouldn’t want ourselves? Become independent, strong, driven, and successful. You’ll find that things will eventually fall into your lap. I’m not saying I’m 100% confident in myself and I think I’m perfect, however, I’m confident enough to say I don’t need a guy to make me happy. A relationship shouldn’t be about depending on the other person. It should be about each bringing something to the table and contributing aspects that the other person doesn’t have (but I’ll get to that problem later). Confidence in a woman makes her much sexier than some mopey complainer. So you’re not Adrirana Lima, who is (well, besides her). Get over it. You have something to offer this world that no one else has.

See it; Own it; Work it.