This is the kind of topic where everyone’s going to think the situation is circumstantial. And alright, maybe 1 out of 50 times, it might be. But really hear me out on this, I think you’ll come to find that taking my advice will be a lot easier than the path you’ve been on.
“The Hatred of the Ex” can relate to two different spectrums; you decide you have to hate all the exes of your partner, or, you have deemed it necessary you have to dislike the new person your ex is dating. For all of you that know me well, you know I have a lot of experience of being “the hated girl” and I’m not just writing this to justify why I think that’s stupid, I’m writing because it’s a waste of energy for all of you to keep living your lives like this. Let me give you a PERFECT example of how stupid it is to hate the new person your ex is dating. I’m going to take you back to high school, many of you will know this story, but for the sake of being polite….names will be changed. I had a boyfriend in the beginning of high school; we’ll call him “Steve.” Steve was hands down the love of my life. He meant everything to me. Not only was he my first real boyfriend, but he was also the person I lost my virginity to, and the first person I ever loved (I know right? It’s weird, but I actually have loved). Steve and I dated for a little over a year, and we broke up a slightly into his senior year. It was rough, no break up is every easy, let alone your first. I was heartbroken (many like to think this is how I got my bitter soul). But little did I know, the worst had yet to come.
Steve started dating a new girl; we’ll call her “Betty.” A girl his age, that his friends were all friends with and that was over-all well liked by a lot of people. I, being the immature high schooler I was at the time, flipped the F out. I HATED Betty. When I say I was mean, it’s an understatement. Now that I look back at it, it’s very embarrassing the way I acted. And it wasn’t just behind her back, I was mean to her face. See, the key ingredient to this whole mixture is that Betty was friends with my sister. There wasn’t really any avoiding Betty, she was always there. It was hard, trust me, people, I get it. Having to hang around the girlfriend of the person you loved. I’m not saying it’s easy, but, I can tell you that currently being on the complete other side with Betty now, it’s much easier.
Over the years, Betty and I slowly tried to be cordial with one another. The random hellos, quick conversations, actually becoming Facebook friends (woah…).Little did I know, she would become one of my closest friends. Ya see, what most people don’t sit down and realize is the common factor between “the old girl” and “the new girl.” Did you ever stop to think, hey, we really liked and both put up with the same guy for a really long time? Well, if you do take a step back and look at it that way, you’ll come to find that you and this new girl (and the same goes for new girls hating all the exes, which by the way, that’s just weird, but I’ll get to that in a sec) probably could get along great. Luckily for me, I did realize that, and I now have a friendship that will last a lifetime. What’s sad to me is that I was hating this girl, who I did not even know, for no reason. Because she liked the same guy as me? ERR wrong. I’m sorry, but that’s a terrible excuse. And not only that, but our friendship that we have now (love you girl), could have started so long ago.
I know that it’s hard to understand that thought while you’re in the middle of being heartbroken, but people, what you need to realize is that not everyone is meant to be together. Relationships come and go. That’s the beauty of them. You’re bored and tired of one, boom, guess what? You get to trade it in for a new one! You can’t expect everyone to be alone after you. And most of the time, the new girl is someone you don’t even know. Now, doesn’t it seem a bit silly to hate someone you don’t even know? If all you ladies out there could grow some balls for a second and admit that your just, I know I know, this is going be tough, JEALOUS of that girl, then you would look a lot less crazy. Boom, easy. Truckin' right along.
Now, on to something that I really, I mean really, just don’t understand. This one really just baffles me. Can someone please tell me how, in any way, shape, or form, it is normal to hate all the previous exes of a guy/girl you’re dating? I mean really though, you’re talking about disliking people who just happened to meet your partner before you. What? I mean honestly people. That’s just bat shit crazy. And not only that, but it causes so many unnecessary arguments inside your relationship. Especially since you’re talking about disliking people that were in your partners life, before they even knew you existed!!
I have an ex, who like most of my exes, have remained extremely good friends with. We’ve had our ups and downs, but for the most part, we have been very close for over 5 years. Of course, since every girl in the world seems to be wack as hell, all of the girls he dated after me would try and prevent him from talking to me. That’s correct, you read that right. They would actually try and tell him that he couldn’t talk to me. Was I pursuing him and trying to get back together? No. Did we still have feelings for each other? No. We genuinely were just friends. I’m sorry, but can you say insecure? People break up for a reason. If we wanted to be together, we would be. Maybe that’s the problem with today. People need to have more faith in their relationships. If you’re so worried that your boyfriend/girlfriend is going to up and leave you for someone, then maybe you should reevaluate your situation. Just a thought.
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