One of the most important aspects to everything in life is balance. Just like anything else, there are tons of things in a relationship that need good balance. One of the most important being the balance between your significant other, and your friends. Sadly, one of the first things to be left behind when someone gets into a serious commitment is their friends. No more game nights with the boys, the end of girl’s night out, it all just, slowly disappears. Eventually, that will lead to pushing your friends away; whether you’re in a relationship or not, having no friends will make you feel lonely. I know people will argue that they are so in love they want to spend every moment with their partner, but didn’t your mom ever tell you that distance makes the heart grow fonder? Personally, if I spend every day and night with my boyfriend, I'm gonna get a little sick of them; not to mention the rut you’ll fall into. It’s fine to be happy when you’re around someone, but doesn’t it make those moments more special when it’s not every day? I don’t know who decided to come up with the thought that you have to do everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but they're a moron.
It’s especially sad to me when this happens to young people in relationships. And I'm not just talking about high school; people forget that being in your 20’s still qualifies you as young. Don’t you want a youth? We have our entire lives (if we want) to be with someone; I don’t get why someone would waste the greatest years of their life curled up on the couch watching marathons. It hurts for me to see people I love and care about be so deep and wrapped up in these relationships that they don’t even know it’s happening to them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn’t be in a relationship just because you’re young, all I'm saying is don’t let it take over your life. You’re allowed to go out with your friends or go on trips without your boyfriend, there isn’t a cardinal rule that you need to be attached to their hip at all times. I just personally don’t understand why someone would want to be in a relationship that has made them change everything they once loved doing, or really, the person they once were.
The couples I have most respect for are the ones who aren’t dependent on each other. I admire relationships that don’t have to talk every five seconds; don’t need to spend every night together; ones that are strong on their own. I think it’s kind of pathetic when people are so obsessed with each other that it consumes their whole lives (and yeah, I'm judging the hell out of you, so sue me.) How is that even fun? I know a ton of people (or should I say knew) that are now swallowed up by a relationship. I'm not saying that it’s sad to have strong feelings for someone and enjoy someone's company; I just think it’s a little depressing that most people in their 20s treat their relationships as if they're in a marriage. You marry someone because they're who you want to grow old with, you don’t want to be with anyone else, and they make you feel complete. Welp, until you’re at that point, does it seem necessary to give up nights with your friends? Does it seem necessary to have to ask someone permission for everything you do? Even if you do think you’re going to be with this kid forever, then if you have the rest of your life with them, why would you throw away the best years right now? And if you don’t think you’re going to be with them in the long run, dare I ask why the hell you are wasting your fantastic youth for nothing?
You don’t need to spend every weekend with your partner and you don’t need to spend every weekend with your friends, like I said, it’s all about balance. Find the happy medium. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with one person, especially when you do the same things every time you’re together. Keep things new and fresh. Make every moment you’re together exciting, but most importantly, keep your own life exciting. Do the things that you want to do. Because when you actually are married, and you’re serving your 25 to life sentence to your husband, your young life is over, no matter how you try and spin it, it’s done. And I love when people try and say “oh but were a fun couple!” no you’re not, trust me. But you know what, you’re married, you don’t need to be fun; THAT’S WHAT YOUR YOUTH IS FOR. My advice to all young couples: appreciate your young life, enjoy your friends and your freedom, because one day you’re going to wake up old, and you really are going to wish you lived your life to the fullest. Be grateful of your healthy life, don’t waste it. Boyfriend or not, I know I'm not going to give up the things that I want to do; if someone can keep up and wants to come along for the ride, that’s cool, but I'm not going to let someone take away the best years of my life.
