Don't

Short and sweet. Here’s my list of don’ts when it comes to relationships.

                DON’T: Spend every day, night, or weekend together; give each other your own damn space. Talk to each other like your five years old; in public, at least, have respect for people around you, because we don’t want to hear that shit. Have your friends write text messages for you when you’re trying to get someone to like you; if you want someone to like you, then you sorrrtaa need to do all that yourself. Write all over each other’s walls; we get it, you’re in a relationship. Make out in public; I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s just uncomfortable for everyone around you. Break up and get back together every month and make people listen to your bullshit reasons; if it’s going to be a habit, do what you will, but keep the annoyance between the two of you, this isn’t a three way relationship. Snoop through phones, emails, or Facebooks; not only do you look crazy, but you’re going to get yourself worked up over things that don’t matter. Speaking of; freak out when they become friends with someone of the opposite sex; it doesn’t mean they're hooking up, it’s just Facebook god damn it. Repeat dial; they got the other 10 calls, not answering for a reason. Smother; you’re only going to piss me off. “Coincidentally” be at the same bar as them; it’s not a coincidence when you stalked to figure out where they were going to be. Talk about your bedroom habits in front of your friends; no one cares. Lose sight of who you are; if you have to change to be with someone, then they probably aren’t the person you should be with. Tell your partner they can’t be friends with someone anymore. Get into the “let’s just watch a movie” rut; go on trips, go out with your friends, do anything social! Lie; the truth always comes out (trust me). Read into things; ask, don’t assume. Get into a fight just because they didn’t call you; there are reasons for these things, people do have other matters going on in their lives besides you. Talk every five seconds; what the hell do you people talk about all day anyway? Become dependent on a man to do everything for you. Get a pet together; guys you know you’re going to be the one walking that little rat she calls a dog, so just avoid it. Move in together; until you’re married of course, and even then, I still want my own place. Get too comfortable; there is no need to rip ass in front of your girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter…talk about losing sexual attraction to someone. Get fat; that one I’ll never understand. Drag people into your problems; if you got yourself into the mess, get yourself out. Forget about your friends; who do you expect to be your bridesmaids when you’ve pushed everyone out of your life for this shmuck? EVER raise your voice at someone or lay a hand on them; there is not one thing in the world that could ever deserve that (not even cheating…asshole). Make shit up to get the sympathy vote; I never understood why girls think a guy is going to want to stay with you just because you tell him a bunch of depressing things in your life. Fight in public; it’s like watching two siblings fight, it’s awkward as fuck and really annoying. Be glued to each other; just because your dating doesn’t mean you always have to be standing or sitting next to each other, it’s okay to mingle, you’ll survive. Force it; not everyone’s meant to be together, if it’s over, it’s over, not a huge deal. Get all pissy because he wants to be with the guys tonight; seriously though, calm the f down. Be his mom; you’re job is to be his girlfriend, you don’t need to order him around. Make so many rules; didn’t you ever learn that people want what they can’t have?

          Most importantly: don’t ever forget what relationships are supposed to be about; you’re with someone because they make you happy and you enjoy spending time together. Making new memories with someone and continuing to enjoy life with someone by your side. When that turns into having constant fights with no meaning and losing all passion, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your energy trying to convince yourself you’re supposed to be with someone. Relationships are a choice, if you’re not having fun, you shouldn’t be doing it.

                                                                 It's just Beer Pong

THOSE THREE LITTLE WORDS...

          My sisters seem to think that I am anti relationships and don’t believe in love. Well, I would like to clear that up. I do in fact believe in love and I have nothing against a good healthy relationship. I have a very big heart and I have a lot of love inside me. I love my family more than anything in the world and the love I have for my friends is overwhelming. And in case you forgot, I do have a love quote tattooed on me, that wasn’t just for the hell of it. Believe it or not, I do think relationships are wonderful. Sharing a bond with someone you care about; the happy feeling you get every time you see the person you have feelings for; I think all of that is amazing. I have experienced and seen relationships that are pathetic; and I have had and witnessed many that are a treat. My parents, for example, have a relationship that I hope to have one day. The way my dad looks at my mom is as if he's still a teenager in love; and the way my mom knows every little detail about my dad is amazing. This is the kind of love I appreciate; the love that is earned and spent a long time achieving. I feel that you know you are really meant to be with someone when your path to them is not a straight shot. My parents dated when they were younger, broke up, both got married to other people, got divorced, and then the two of them got back together and married. Now if that’s not meant to be, I don’t know what is. That’s the kind of fairytale I have respect for. Twenty eight beautiful years and four spectacular children later, they are more in love now than ever. Everything that’s meant to be will be. That’s the beauty with love; you don’t need to force it.

                Love is the most amazing gift we can give to someone. Just because it’s not something I like to toss around to anyone, doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. For me, I know when I finally tell someone I’m in love with them, it will mean a lot because I haven’t said it to every shmuck whose wiggled his way into my life. When I see people say “I love you” after two months of dating, it makes me sad. It’s just such a powerful emotion that should be saved for moments and people when you actually mean it. It is appropriate to have really strong feelings for someone when you first start dating; it’s new and exciting. But people really need to learn to distinguish lust from love; and also the difference of having love for someone and being in love. I know people who have been in relationships when they say they love the other person and blah blah blah, well flash forward to the break up and all of a sudden its “no I want in love with him; I had more of a friendship feeling toward him.” Hmmm, that’s funny, because when you too were using baby after every word, you were certainly singing a different tune. Perhaps if you waited an appropriate amount of time to jump to that conclusion, you never would have said it. Then they get in a new relationship and it’s like “oh no no no but this time I swear I really love him, it’s different.” Is it really now? Superb, congrats.

                Obviously we are going to love more than one person in our lifetime, I get that. I'm not saying you need to save those three little words for just one; I just wish people wouldn’t throw it around like its nothing. I dunno, perhaps wait more than a year until you say it? You’re not meant to be in love with everyone you date, the point of dating is to hopefully find the person you love. There doesn’t need to be a time limit on loving someone. Just because you have been together for over a year, doesn’t mean that you have to feel like you’re supposed to be in love someone. It takes a very long time to really know someone and appreciate them, I dated my ex in college for about a year and at the end, I realized that I was never going to love him; it just took a long time to understand that. It’s also easier to believe and appreciate the love between two people when it’s rare for someone. For example, I have someone very close to me, hands down the greatest guy I know with the biggest heart in the world. This guy doesn’t just date or have feelings for anyone; he is a very work oriented person and doesn’t spend his time picking up girls. Well, he met a girl 4 years ago at summer school and let me tell you, even just by the look in his eyes when he told me about her, I knew he was in love. Today, four years later, they are still happily together and very much head over heels. It’s wonderful for me to see because I know it’s real for him. He doesn’t get these feelings for just anyone, he doesn’t say those words to just anyone; when he says it, he means it. The whole part about love that is exciting is that it’s rare and unexpected.

                All I'm saying is to be a little more careful with whom you say those powerful little words too. Think of it like I am your mom giving you the sex talk when you were younger. Remember how she told you to save your virginity for someone special? Not to just throw your body around to anyone because sooner or later it won’t mean anything anymore? Well that’s how I feel about love. Personally, I think someone's heart is just a wee bit more valuable than sex. It’s simple math really, if you don’t want to get heartbroken, then don’t give anyone the power to do that. Pretend your love is a Chanel bag that you don’t want anyone else to get ahold of until you know they will treat it with the gentle respect it deserves.